Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
