This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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