We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
