When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
