ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
