Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
