This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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