you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
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you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
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Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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