what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
