Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
