So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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