so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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