It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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