We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
