Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
