The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
