yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize