the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I could fuck to npr.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
