I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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