Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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