I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
