so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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