She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
