yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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