Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Randomize
