I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
This is the high leading the old right now
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize