Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
