They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
