I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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