i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
