im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
