i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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