Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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