he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
