i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
