Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
