why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize