i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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