i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'm always down for nudity.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
