So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
