porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
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