Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
