This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
