This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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