There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
