Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just threw up on my dentist
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
