sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I believe in your delicious
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
