My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I have aggressive nipples.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
