I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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