Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
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Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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