im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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