Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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