i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
