And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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