6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
