I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize