3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize