I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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