How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
