i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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