drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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