You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
