wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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