why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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