There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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