Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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