PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
