don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
found the other keg... it's in the tree
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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