I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
