A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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